That's Life
by RedHerring1412
Summary: Complete! Slight AU. Conan finds out that the cure he wants is just no good. He must now figure out how he is to continue his life. But first there are a few loose ends to take care of. Just R&R please. Read and Review
1. Prologue

Title: That's Life . . .

Author: RedHerring1412

Rating: K+

Warning: slight AU (see if you can spot it in a latter chapter) . . . Um . . . Common plot?

Pairings: None (No, really. You may see something if you squint but it is unintentional.)

Disclaimer: Not mine. If you think it is mine...well...lets just say I won't insult your intelligence.

Author Comments: I really just wrote this so I could write another story. First writing.

Prologue:

-Conan POV-

Well . . . Haibara-san finally did it. The cure that we have been searching for, the elusive antidote, has finally been discovered. Once the antidote for the APTX4869 is taken, the original poison's effect is neutralized and the body regains its proper age. However, as with any strong drug, there are side effects.

Haibara-san made a very convincing statement concerning how the side effects would affect my life if I chose to take the antidote. I don't blame her in the slightest mind you. She has contemplated every alternative, but the results are the same . . . or even worse. Now, for everyone's sake, I must choose how I will continue my life. As Edogawa Conan, or the damaged Kudou Shinichi.


	2. Chapter 1

Title: That's Life . . .

Author: RedHerring1412

Chapter 1:

After begging Haibara-san for a day to think about it, I continue my life as usual. I must make this decision on my own. Only by considering my life as the current Conan and what I remember of Shinichi, I must make a choice of how I wish to continue my life. So firmly was I thinking these things, this time while I continue the existence of Conan, I notice the little things in my/his life that I never quite realized before. During breakfast, Ran is talking cheerfully about her life. Things like how Sonoko really needs to learn how to settle down properly and how a certain classmate's cousin will be coming to help with the school's festival. Of course, you also can't forget about all the other insane little gossiping going on at school. In other words, Ran's daily routine.

Once she drops me off at the elementary school, I realize that this really is who Ran is. She is a high school student, with a life. Between her karate training and dealing with her parents, she can handle herself. I have no right to interfere with it, and she deserves a proper chance to live her life properly.

Sitting in my class of little people, I look around at them. They may be children, but they have the intuition to live their lives as they see fit. True, they may not be as experienced as me (with the exception of Haibara-san) but they understand what their life is. Living their life as only a child can, I can't help but feel jealous.

It is probably at this point that I make my decision, even if I didn't realize the fact yet. Haibara-san may have realized how oddly I acted throughout class, but she didn't comment on it. I think she realized what I was thinking so much about and understood my thoughts. She did give me a day to think about my life after all.

Throughout the time of Ran picking me up from school and buying the groceries for dinner, I contemplated the problem that was Ran. Living with her as Conan has slowly made me realize that she is the closest friend I have ever had. In fact, she may be the only one I can call a true friend . . . except for recently. As Shinich, before this mess as Conan, she really was a true friend. Perhaps there was even a softer feeling lingering there. However, once Conan entered Ran's life, all that changed. Friends don't lie to each other every single day. They don't keep giving them a hope that is completely false. True . . . now Shinichi can show up in her life again, but things won't ever be the same. I have seen what happens when there is mistrust between two people and I don't want that risk to ever happen between us.

I must find a solution to this predicament of mine. At one time I thought that I may love Ran, but now . . . I realize that as I am now . . . as Conan . . . I love her in a way I didn't expect. I think of, and love Ran . . . as family. Someone I could just be with and feel like I am home. I have never quite realized it before, but the only times I felt like that were in three different situations. Growing up with my parents and traveling with them to all the different places has always seemed like being at home to me. Sitting on a stool, watching Professor Agasa make some new gadget have felt like a second home. While the third . . . was when he was with people whom he can call his friends. When he was Shinichi, about the only person he could call a friend was Ran, that meant that being with her felt like he was home. Though now he was Conan that is no longer completely true.

I don't want to hurt her. However, I can't stay here either. Once more the cure to my current physical predicament came to mind but I dismissed it immediately. It just wasn't worth it. True, I can be Shinichi again, but so much has happened to me . . . would I really be him? Not to mention that if I took that cure, the side effects . . . It just wouldn't be fair to Ran, or to anyone else for that matter, to take care of me once those effects would take place. What could I do though? The option that is Kudou Shinichi is out. That option would bring so much pain to Ran, and I could not do that to her. However, the only way that I can continue my life as Conan, truly live my life, Kudou Shinichi must die. It may take some time, but there are those who already know about my double life. They would probably be okay with my decision with being Conan, after a bit of explaining. Once that is done though, they would be willing to help me get rid of Shinichi.

The main problem though is Ran. She doesn't know. There may be some suspicions, but I am positive that she doesn't know for sure. Telling her the truth for once, and letting her find out about how long I just didn't trust her (for surely she will think that), it would hurt her so much. True . . . her finding out that Shinichi is dead, in a sense, it would also hurt. However, afterwards, she can continue her life. In all honesty, I don't want to hurt her, but she is going to have to experience a little pain if she is to continue to live. Firmly fixing that thought in mind, I begin to plan just how I am going to pull this off. Any true guilt will be mine, no one else deserves to feel the pain that I must for the actions that I have caused. I make a silent apology to Ran. "I am sorry for the events that will come in the future, but I know you are strong, and you will be better off in the end."


	3. Chapter 2

Title: That's Life . . .

Author: RedHerring1412

Chapter 2:

Well . . . after a week or so, most of the preparations for my plan are finally out of the way. After that day with Ran I told Haibara-san my decision. Together we talked to Professor Agasa about everything. Then with him we figured out what to say to my parents and how to arrange all that we needed to in order to pull this off. After several looooong conversations with my parents, it was finally time to begin.

In all honesty, the plan was very simple. True, it takes all of the acting skills I had, but this time I will be telling the truth . . . in a sense. The only wild card would be Ran. However, between myself and my parents (being the people that know her the best), we are quite sure how she would react in the situation that we set up for her. In the end, Shinichi and Conan will be out of her life. However, to lessen the blow of two people in her life leaving her, we agreed that the time between the two will be longer, just to play it safe. Mostly it will be to make sure that she recovers properly from Shinichi . . . she deserves that consolation at least.

Walking home with Ran one night I finally pop the question that will set of the chain of events that will finally separate Ran from Shinichi. Putting on one of my most innocent expressions I ask, "Hey . . . Ran-neechan?"

"Yes Conan-kun?"

"Can I ask you a question? It's really important." At this point I screw my face up slightly to make it appear concerned.

Ran stops waling and looks at me with an expression of curiosity. "What is it Conan-kun?"

Now my eyes tear up slightly. With a small frown on my face I remain silent.

"What is it Conan-kun?"

I then look at Ran with anger flashing in my eyes. However, sadness leaks into my voice (it took a lot of practice for this part, I had to make it believable after all). "Why? . . . Why do you wait for him Ran-neechan? He hurts you by being away, so why do you wait for him?" I bite my lip to help my tears some, not that they needed any help at this point. However, it does help the image of a child in distress. As Ran kneels down beside me, I clench my eyes shut and turn my head away. I just can't look her in the face for this.

"Conan-kun? Is this about Shinichi?"

I nod my head and look at Ran with distress written all over my face. With tears running down my cheeks I tell Ran, "I . . . I did a bad thing Ran."

Ran's eyebrows raise at this. She is clearly confused as to what this had to do with Shinichi. "What? What is it?"

I take a deep breath and begin. "I hic I . . . stole a-a-a voice changer thingy from Pr-professor Agasa. When I first met yo-you, you looked so happy. You always looked so happy but Professor Agasa told me that you really were sad. Sad because Shinichi-niichan wasn't there. So I, so I thought that if you heard from Shinichi-niichan again you would be happy for real. So I hic stole the voice changer thingy. I wanted to make you happy." At this point I cast my gaze downward and my voice because quiet as I continue. "And I called you. Shinichi-niichan told me about you before so I knew just what to say. And it worked! You were happy again. After that phone call I . . . I just couldn't stop. You would keep on getting unhappy, so I kept on calling you. Anytime you looked like you missed him I would call you as Shinichi-niichan to make you happy again. I just wanted you to be happy, even if he wasn't there." I noticed out of the corner of my eyes just how still Ran had become as she slowly put the pieces together. Forcing my body to shake slightly and continues before Ran gets in a word. "Then . . . then Shinichi-niichan found out. H-he wasn't very happy with me. He . . . he said that if Ran couldn't get over him for wanting to be left alone for a while, then she must be a-a . . . a-an idiot." I look at Ran with the full waterworks running. It breaks my heart into a bloody mass to see her face frozen in a shocked and betrayed expression. "I . . . I'm sorry Ran but . . . but I didn't want to see you hurt. Once I found out how Shinichi-niichan really thought of you . . . I-I wanted to stop. But then Shinichi-niichan wanted to find out how long it would take an idiot like you to figure it out. I-I'm sorry Ran-neechan, but he convinced me that you were better off if things went on like they were. I didn't want to see you hurt, not after all that you have done for me."

Ran grips my shoulder stiffly. I stiffen as I wonder if she would hurt me. My parents assured me that she wouldn't, but that still didn't stop the flicker of fear I felt. Flinching from her touch, I look at her again. Ran's eyes slowly gain their life again as all the pieces fall into place. However, my heart continues to be crushed as I listen to her dead voice gain a frantic tone as she says to me, "Then . . . then what about the times he visited me? What about those times? A child such as you couldn't have faked those too! Then . . . then what about those times when we talked about those . . . those things. You couldn't have faked everything!" Ran is really starting to scare me now. I knew that the reaction would be bad, but this . . .

"I-I'm sorry Ran. Shinichi-niichan was upset that I did what I did. That I messed up his experiment." Swallowing, I continue on in a shaky voice. "He-he kept tabs on me so I could only call you so often. He even showed up a couple times when I came too close to telling you the truth. I...I had to call him up and update him on how you were reacting to his absence. He even laughed a couple of times."

Ran deflated a bit at the mention of experiment. "He . . . he laughed about me?"

I swallow and not my head. Continuing I say, "Ye-yeah, he wanted to test the limits of the hu-human pse-pys-psyci-, um . . . mind condition under stress." I grab Ran's shirt frantically as I try to make eye contact with the life I know is somewhere within her eyes. "I'm sorry! I thought at first that I was doing a good thing, but then I realized that if I continued to do this it would just hurt you even more. It-it also occurred to me that you would be better off without him. I did like Shinichi-niichan once upon a time, but now . . . he just is a bad person now. So-so I had to . . . to"

"Tell me the truth."

I blink as I focus on Ran's face once more. She still looked sad, but it no longer looked dead or frantic. It was almost that she was resigned to her fate, and what has happened.

Glad that she finally bought it I continue my charade. I scrunched up my face again as tears fell from my eyes. "I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner Ran-neechan."

Warm arms envelopes me as tears fall into my hair. "No. It is I who am sorry. Sorry for not realizing it sooner. I...I knew you were Shinichi but . . . but only a Shinichi that I hoped for. I...I should have realized that the real Shinichi was liked that. Just a cold-hearted detective, whose only concern is his work. Do . . . do you realize that the only times he showed up after the park incident was when he was solving a case? The . . . the other times, I never saw him very clearly . . . they were you . . . , weren't they?" She squeezes my tight as tears fall into my hair. The skies above us rumble in response to our loss and the heavens break as rain fall from above. At this point the only thing left of my heart is a bloody void.


	4. Chapter 3

Title: That's Life . . .

Author: RedHerring1412

Chapter 3:

Two months later

Ran finally seems to be settling down at last. Letting Shinichi go happened a lot quicker than any of us expected. However, trying to live life again took a little bit longer. Thankfully though, she finally did. She even managed to get a couple of dates. Sadly, they didn't last very long on account of them being scared off by Ran self-defensive reaction. I think between the fist through the wall when she was upset and kicking perverts in the face . . . well, they kinda avoided her after that. Oh well . . . at least she got over Shinichi. Perhaps the fact that about a week after my 'confession', his parents showed up to apologize completely for his behavior. They were completely disappointed that he turned out this way (they disowned 'Kudou Shinichi'). Then of course, the restraining orders probably helped. Between the fact that Shinichi isn't allowed anywhere near Mouri Ran or Edogawa Conan probably put her mind at ease. At times she seems sad, but she did grow stronger from the experience. She is going to make some man very happy someday.

On a happier not, Haibara-san was officially adopted by Professor Agasa. I am not completely sure on the details there, but it seems like she is rather happy about that fact. True, they may not act any different from before, but I have heard her call him Grandfather on occasion. My parents have also hired her on as their housekeeper (privately) while they are away. Now my house isn't quite so empty anymore. At least there aren't as many ghost stories about that place now.

As for me . . . well . . . if truth be told, I still feel rather guilty about what I did. At the very least this time the lies this time will cause me the most pain, not her. That is what I try to believe anyways. I also plan on not telling any more lies, if I can help it. The lies that are already set don't count. For now there is peace. Still, the plan is not quite completed yet. There is still one more person that must sever all bonds with Kudou Shinichi. Me.

We are all sitting down to dinner on a wonderful autumn day. As I hear a certain car drive up and the doors shutting, I know that the day for the final phase of the plan has come. When the doorbell rings Ran hurries to answer it. "Who could that be at this hour?" Listening to the old man grumble is nothing new but I feel my heart pounding as Ran opens the door. There is some muttered discussion going on. It only pauses for a moment when Ran loudly gasps, which is quickly followed by some quick discussion. When I finish my dinner, the conversation finally ends and I wonder how well Ran is reacting to the news.

Entering quietly, Ran comes over to me. Looking at me with a sad, pale face, she asks me, "Conan-kun? Would you come into the living room please? There are a couple of people here to see you." I give her a look that has curiosity written all over it (just for show of course) and follow her into the other room. As soon as I spot the room's occupants I let out a shout, "Yuusaku-jiichan! Yukiko-baachan!" I run up to my mother to give her a hug. Wrapping her arms around me she lifts me up and returns my hug.

"Ah! Conan-chan. It has been a while. How are you doing?" We prattle on like that for a little bit while everyone settles down in the room. Finally sitting in a comfortable position with me on her lap she finally pops the question. "Ne, Conan-chan. How would you feel about going on a trip with us?"

Making my face seem joyous was a little harder than I thought, but I managed to pull it off. "Eh? Really? Do you really mean it?"

"Why of course. We talked it over and my husband agrees with me that such a trip would be best."

"Really? Does she really mean it Yuusaku-jiichan?"

My father looks over at me with a serious expression on his face. "Conan-kun."

I settle down as I pretend to just notice his expression. "Eh? What is it Yuusaku-jiichan?"

"There is something very important that we need to tell you. Now I want you to be strong about this, okay? Its going to be something that is going to make you upset, but just hear us out, okay?"

"Huh? What is it?"

Setting his hand on my shoulder, he lets out a sigh. Despite the fact that I know what is coming next, I can't help but feel the tension that floods the room. "Conan-kun . . . There has been an accident. You parents . . . there is good evidence that they died upon impact. As a result . . . well . . . they left it in their will that should anything happen to them . . . All that they own is left to you. However, you are still young and they requested of us that we should take care of you until you can support yourself. As things are, we . . . Yukiko and I, have decided to adopt you, or at least make you our legal heir. We have known you well enough since you were a baby that we both agreed on this. We know you are truly a good person at heart. Now we are asking you if you are willing to go with us when we travel. It may be a little difficult at times, but we hope to teach you enough that you can live your life as you want to. In all, you will learn many new things and, when you feel that you are ready, you can return home anytime you want to, alright? Do you understand everything I just told you?"

I nod my head as I stare at the ground. "I...I understand. I even agree with you in what you say but . . . can I stay here for another week though? There are a couple of things I want to do and a few people to say goodbye to before we go."

"We understand. Take as long as you need. We'll be waiting at our house so call when you are ready to go."

All is quiet in the house as I hear my parents drive away in their car. I sense movement toward me and I look at Ran. She is kneeling before me with tears in her eyes. "Conan-kun . . . "

It wasn't until she brushed my cheek that I realized that I was also crying. "Why? . . . Why do I feel so sad yet so happy at the same time? Why?" As she envelopes me within her arms I am once again reminded of a previous time where we held this same position. Once again, we cry for a future that will never be.


	5. Chapter 4

Title: That's Life . . .

Author: RedHerring1412

Chapter 4:

One week later

Taking care of all my goodbyes at school, registering for a passport, and slowly letting the 'sleeping detective' get back to his normal self took up most of my time. However, as things worked out, Ran set up a surprise going away party. In truth, it really was a surprise. I knew she was sad to know that I was leaving, but knowing that she does not blame me in the least for the events that happed brings me comfort. Setting up the surprise party was proof enough for that.

First there was a lunch party. Everyone that I was close to (as Conan) came to with me well and hoped that I would be happy with my up coming life. Afterwards, Ran brought me, Haibara-san, and the rest of the Detective Boys to a magic show. I wondered just how much money Ran must have spent on this but she assured me that my new parents paid for most of it. Admittedly, we all had a good time at the show. Despite the fact that I knew how you could pull off half of the tricks, I enjoyed the show. The magician also did some tricks that I wasn't completely sure on how they were done. All the tricks he did were done in such a smooth and interesting manner that they almost seemed new. There was a boy next to me who was spouting out all sorts of information on how cool his dad was, but despite that little interruption, I still enjoyed the show. The turkey in the hat trick was quite fun. All in all I have been inspired to do some more research into how all these tricks can be done.

Anyways, after the show, I said my final goodbye to the Detective Boys. Once all goodbyes were said, Ran brought me to a fancy restaurant where her father and my new 'parents' were waiting. While we ate our meal, we talked about our future plans. Ran's father, apparently after having a long talk with my father, is going to continue detective work. However, he is first going to apply for a job in teaching new wanna-be detectives. This way (he says) he can avoid certain talks with Ran and her mother about if he really does any real work. Besides, after having Conan poking around so much, it would feel weird not to have some sort of ignorant rookie around.

Once the adults have a laugh on my account, Ran brings up that she plans on continuing school. She still isn't completely sure what she wants to do with her life, but she did accept a teaching position at the karate studio. Perhaps teaching the little kids would inspire her to do something. We then have a small discussion about what that kind of job would be like.

Afterwards the discussion moves onto my parents. They, of course, will continue doing as they always had, except this time they will have me along for the ride. My father is going to make sure I get my proper schooling done, and more depending on what opportunities may show up. At that point my mother buts in that he isn't going to have all the fun of raising a child this time. She is going to take me under her wing and see if she can teach me _how_ to do a few new things. This, of course, sets off a silly bickering that soon has everyone laughing. It turned out to be a pleasant day all around. The last I saw of Ran for a long time was a small bittersweet farewell at the airport.


	6. Afterwards

Title: That's Life . . .

Author: RedHerring1412

Afterwards

"Ne. Conan-chan, Ai-chan did say there was a cure. So why did you go through all this if you could take it?"

I turned to my mother who was sitting next to me on the plane. With a grave expression on my face I reply, "I didn't take it because it wasn't worth it. Taking the antidote meant that I would have to deal with the side effect." Sighing I continue, "Taking a permanent cure meant that what I currently have in my child's body has to fit my near adult body. Doing so would have made me as weak as a newborn, not to mention what damage it may do to my brain." I head off my mother's next question before she asks. "The only reason why the temporary cures worked like they did was for two reasons. First, it used up quite a bit of energy just to stay in that form. Secondly, it was just that, temporary. Once the provided energy burned off, the body reverts. One last thing about that method is the whole energy bit. It may work, but the more you use it, the faster your very life burns away. According to Haibara-san, with as many times that I used the temporary cur, my life is currently reduced by a year. If I used it again, that time would double, the time after that would double again and so on and so forth. Haibara-san also thinks that as we are we can let ourselves grow naturally without any major repercussions. In other words, just starting over my life is the best course of action." I trail off at that point as I gaze out the window.

"But," my mother says, "the only one that will truly suffer in the end is you, isn't it?"

At these words a smirk grows on my face. "Brilliant deduction Kaa-san. However, this also brings the least amount of pain, eventually, to those I most care about." My smirk grows more playful as I look into my mother's face. Eyes twinkling I add, "After all, Shinichi-niichan grew up under his father's experience. Its only fair that your second child, Conan, grows up learning to be a convincing actor. After all, he has gotten a lot of experience acting, right?"

She shares my smile and ruffles my hair. "Right!"

-The End-


End file.
